By Linda Deir

“Forgiveness is not necessary when you stop taking things personally. The fact is, forgiveness isn’t required when you perceive things and accept them for what they are. When you experience things for what they are the judgment never begins, so there’s nothing to forgive.

Forgiveness only applies when getting off to a wrong start in your life and the pain you’ve taken on turns you into a victim. This is all because you took things personally. That’s when the blame and judgment started and the vicious cycle took over. Universal law fulfills your beliefs, so as you project those beliefs onto others you draw more of what you believe back to you. Before you realize it, this becomes a way of life. When this happens it actually takes something like “forgiveness,” as a last resort, to lift the resistance that has been blocking you and keeping you stuck. Stuck in what became a habit from your interpretation of some moment in time.

Even if someone criticized you, blamed you, or humiliated you, it’s only as relevant to you as you claimed it and owned it as your own. Even if you did something that hurt someone else, forgiving yourself won’t prevent you from doing that again. The answer does not come from forgiveness, it comes when you examine where this is coming from inside of you. Even if you try not to hurt someone else, especially those who didn’t deserve it, this disconnect will continue to cause you to project your own hurts onto others until you have healed it. Where did this come from? When did it start?

It makes no sense to put this off any longer because it will only continue to erode your life. There is nothing beneficial about dragging this around. However, healing it will help you reconnect and be more tolerant of others who are suffering from what, by then, used to be your affliction. This makes the concept of “forgiveness” look absurd and superficial. To forgive someone is like giving them a free pass, a way to dodge the real problem.

The only way forgiveness has any value is when you apply it to forgiving yourself. You are the only one you need to forgive because you are the one who got you off to a wrong start. You may need to forgive yourself as a temporary measure to disconnect yourself from repeating habitual mistakes long enough to find the reasons you have been allowing your own pain and suffering to control your life. This will free you from the undue pressure and guilt that has kept you stuck in an intolerant and disconnected past.”


How It Works: All this anguish is unnecessary. It’s caused by living a disconnected life that leaves you drifting aimlessly around looking for yourself. Until you resolve that, you will continue to attract like-minded and naive victims to play into what validates your own pain. There will come a time when, you will be faced with you, the only one who can correct it once and for all. Everyone else will be happy for the day when you stop doing things to them that lead you to depend on their forgiveness.

So the next time you hear someone advocating “forgiveness” you will be able to see right through their weak and thoughtless way to really dealing with the issue. Until they perform on that you can be sure they will continue to rely on your forgiveness

~Linda Deir