By Salenta Fox


I Love MeThe term ‘loving yourself’, or ‘self-love’ is almost cliché these days. You hear it everywhere, from many people, but what does it actually mean, and who is actually practicing it?

As a coach, without fail, each person I work with has a problem with self-love. For being such a wide spread idea, not many of you actually take this phrase to heart and practice it.

But why would you?  Your whole life has been spent being programmed to do the opposite. You are told it is better to give than to receive. You are taught to put everyone else above yourself, and if you don’t, you are selfish. You have spent many years with these words ringing in the back of your mind and now suddenly you are told to love yourselves?  What does this even mean? What happened to loving everyone else more? Your circuits have been confused, leaving you conflicted and in a stop program, where the strongest belief wins out.

So, even if you think you are loving yourself, I guarantee, you can always do better at it.  And when you do, your life, your happiness and your love will expand to new heights.

The two main reasons you don’t practice self-love is first, you have blocks or conflicting programs keeping you in a ‘put everyone else above me’mode, or second, you just don’t know how to love yourself. The latter reason is much easier to remedy; knowing is the first step to doing. I’m sure you never saw this most important principle practiced or modeled for you, so now just being told to do it still leaves you hanging with nowhere to go.

So how do you love yourself more?

We have been fed a lie, a myth that needs to be busted now. The myth is that being self-centered is a bad thing!! I call bullhonkie on this one. Without being self-centered, how can you be available in any authentic way for anyone else?

Now, I did not say selfish, I said self-centered.

Selfish is being excessively concerned with your own well being to the determent or disregard of others. The thing you have been warned against your whole life.

Self-centered, on the other hand, is being centered in yourself, your truth, and what is best for you. This is the only way to be authentically you, if not centered in you, how can you even claim to know yourself, let alone love yourself.

Being centered in you means to start looking at yourself in a new way.

Get to know yourself perhaps for the first time.

What do you really enjoy? What makes you happy? What are you passionate about? What gets your juices flowing? I invite you to explore these questions in a new way.

Start looking at yourself like you would your lover.Beautiful woman holding hearts

Start speaking to yourself like you would a lover.

Be nice to you.

Do nice things for you.

Start to build a relationship with you.

Spend quality time with just you, no one else, and like it.

The only reason you don’t think you are amazing is because you don’t know that you are amazing.

Most of you just take advantage of you. You have been together for so long you no longer notice yourself anymore. Just like that couple that has been together for so long they don’t even know each other anymore, or care to, you have gotten in the rut of being with you.  Well, start to care again. Start to get to know yourself again and build a relationship of trust, love, and respect with yourself.

I’m going to say that again, build a relationship of trust, love, and respect with you. The more you trust you, the more others will trust you. The more you love you, the more others will love you. And, the more you respect you, the more others will respect you.

When you are feeling a lack in your life, instead of looking outside of yourself, I invite you to look within. You are most likely the one holding out on yourself the most, you are the one who is hardest on yourself, and you are the one who has the meanest words to speak to you.

Take a deep look at how you treat you. This one simple truth has the power to change your whole life.

 You can only be loved as much as you love you.

You are only as beautiful as you see yourself; you are only as smart as you see yourself. This is the first step to any love with anyone. As you start to open to your own love you will be surprised at how much other love starts to come your way. Others like people who like themselves. People will start to want to be around you more, more opportunities will start opening for you, but most importantly, you will feel so darn good. Happiness will flood you, not the fleeting, passing sort of happiness. But a rich, deep, everlasting joy will fill your life like never before.

Try it… I dare you. Love you!!


Love Love Love


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